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eat pray love julia roberts

You don’t need to pull an “Eat Pray Love” to get over a breakup — but it helps.

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It’s probably one of the hardest things about dating…breakups and ending all contact, thought and obsession over the ex. At times, it feels like you may never stop thinking about them. Even worse, you start obsessing over the life they may be living without you, who they may be dating now and whether you’ll ever get back together. Here’s what to do if this sounds like you.

2. Get rid of ex reminders.

i love you note

Old mementos are best left in the trash.


macondo/Shutterstock



These can be small, inexpensive gifts and mementos, cards and letters, even clothing that once belonged to the ex should be purged. “These are all reminders that can trigger strong emotions and memories that lead to obsession,” says Coleman.

3. Resist the temptation to stage run-ins.

rory logan

“Accidentally” running into your ex might be tempting, but it’s best to avoid.

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I know this may sound rather elementary, but this one is important. “The very best way [to move on] is to eliminate all forms of contact, including meeting in person,” says Dr. Gary Brown, a relationship expert. That means not planning a run-in at your local coffee shop or gym. Rearrange your schedule if you need to.

4. Visualize your future (without them).

vision board

A vision board might seem corny, but it might just work for you.


Debra Roby/Flickr



In other words, imagine how good your life will be when you have finished grieving the loss of your ex. “The more details you can flesh out, the better your chances of bringing your new vision to life,” says Brown. Make a vision board of what you want for your future if it helps.

6. Get support from friends.

hanging out with friends

Don’t be afraid to rely on your friends for a few weeks.

oneinchpunch/Shutterstock


There is nothing wrong with asking your friends to encourage you to stop talking to or about your ex. “Instead, ask them to encourage you to lick your wounds and take steps to move on with your life,” says Brown.

7. Plan a vacation.

eat pray love julia roberts

If you can, you might as well pull an “Eat Pray Love.”

Sony Pictures


When you go through an intense breakup, it can feel like where you live is a standing reminder of the relationship you lost, explains Amica Graber, a resident relationship expert for TruthFinder. “Sometimes the best way to break out of a rut is to try something dramatically different. Take that vacation you’ve always dreamed of. Invite your best girlfriends — or better yet, go solo. There is nothing more liberating than traveling alone, and you’ll remember how great being single can feel.”

8. Move or redecorate.

new girl

Moving might be emotional, but it’ll pay off in the end.

20th Century Fox Television


If you shared your living space with the ex, it’s going to be hard to move on when everything in your home reminds you of them, says Graber. “Consider moving to a new area of your town to get a fresh start if your lease is nearly up. At the very least, move around some furniture and repaint the walls.”

9. Start dating again.

woman on tinder

You don’t have to jump right into Tinder, but try to start dating again at some point.

Teerawit Chankowet/Shutterstock


Get on a dating app and start dating again. “You might not enjoy it at first. Perhaps you won’t be able to stop thinking about your ex on a few inevitable bad dates. But make dating again a habit. As the saying goes, you fake it ’til you make it,” says Graber. At the very least, dating apps can help preoccupy you while your heart continues to heal.

10. Get professional support.

molly therapist insecure

Talking to a therapist might help you a lot.

HBO


If it’s been months and you’re still obsessing to the point that you’re having a difficult time functioning socially, at home, at work and perhaps in school, it may be time to see a therapist, suggests Brown. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. All that matters is that you stop obsessing over your ex.

11. Do things for yourself.

margot robbie bubble bath the big short

Maybe “taking care of yourself” means taking lots and lots of bubble baths.

Paramount Pictures


While you might feel like your world has ended and you’ll never get over your ex, you will. Graber recommends writing a bucket list of everything you want to do before you settle down and start doing them. She also notes, “Most people get married multiple times, experience multiple relationships and fall in love over and over again. The world hasn’t ended because your relationship did.”

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This story was originally published by Stylecaster.

Read the original article on StyleCaster. Copyright 2018.

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